May 22, 2015

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond- e.e.cummings

My life is going to change this summer. I can feel it. I came to Colorado with a plan to get a job, make some money, and spend a quiet summer with my sister and her husband and soon to come husky puppy. Instead I'll be living and working at a camp four hours away from my sister, making less money than I could and working more hours.

I worked at the same camp two summers ago (The camp is an amazing place, full of meaning and memories for me. I imagine at some point there will be a post all about this place.) That was the summer after my tenth grade and my year had been so difficult and I spent the last months of school praying that over the summer God would transform me and speak to me and use me. And He did. He really really did, and it was incredible.

This past semester of college was also hard, but I survived and I think I wanted to just keep surviving, but I know something even better is going to happen. I'm not going to have a quiet, easy summer. I know that already. But it's going to be amazing. It's going to change my life. I don't know how I know this, I just do.

But for now I do get one more week of quiet and rest, and I'm trying to make the best of it without just doing nothing all day, which tends to make me feel slightly depressed instead of rested. My sister and I hiked through Black Canyon the other day and followed along a family of geese. We had to pass them eventually and I was so terrified that I would have to add "attacked by goose" to my list of things I've done, but luckily the angry father goose let us pass without too much trouble.

I also saw a marmot which was so cute and super exciting, and so many chipmunks and I just can't get over how adorable animals are.

Even tonight when I'm fighting for breath and suffering trough itchy eyes and a runny nose because we spent the afternoon eating at someone's house with a couple of dogs. I still love animals, especially the tiny puppy we went to see today that will be my sister's puppy in just over a month. So cute. You have no idea.

Equity Blue has a few more pages of writing as of today and I even wrote a few poems, but then misplaced them and benedril is making me way to tired to go search. So here is a poem by e. e. Cummings, a man who somehow gets away with doing all my biggest writing pet peeves and yet no matter how hard I try to hate him and all his poetry they're just so good that I can't.

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though I have closed myself as fingers,
you open myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skillfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if you wish to be close to me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands 

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