Post-Capernwray Culture Shock

I don't know why I thought that three months in Europe wouldn't make such a huge impact on my life. I expected some changes, sure, but I had not realized that Capernwray, my British home for two months, would actually become a home and would steal quite a big piece of my heart.

Now I'm back across the ocean, though not back in Mexico with my parents, brother and no longer existing bedroom. Instead I have a summer with my grandparents, aunt, and cousin, which so far has been fantastic. Not that it's been very long, it's only been four days since I left Europe behind. However, it turns out that three days are enough for some culture shock and some readjustment after Capernwray life.

So without further ado: some things I miss about Capernwray.

1. Tea! Yeah, yeah, I know I can get tea here. But there's something about knowing I'll have four cups of some hot drink every day. I love chai tea, but I'll always have a place in my heart for plain English tea with a little bit of milk.

2. Turning on outlets and adapters. I had a while to wait in the airport, and it sure was strange to not find an on and off switch next to the outlet. And having to take the adapter off of my computer lead... it's just weird.

3. Lifts and Cues. I finally managed to stick my brain full of all this English vocabulary. Now I don't know what to say anymore. "Where's the... um, yeah, bathrooms, that's what they are here!"

4. Digestives and Porridge. I never liked oatmeal, but I got so used to eating porridge every morning for breakfast and now I'm in withdrawal. And those little packages of fruit flavoured oatmeal just don't taste as good. I need to learn how to make my own! And digestives, do I need to say any more? I just miss digestives.

5. Katy Perry's Birthday Song and Midnight Dance Parties. I think I hated this song so much that I had no choice but to love it. I mean, we heard it enough as it was, but with all three of my roommates having birthdays this song just seemed to be playing non-stop. And our dance raves were just awesome in every way. We love you Conference Hall 13!

6. Green fields and sheep. Growing up, I was always shocked by how green Indiana was. It always seemed so bright and so vibrant. But now... I don't think anywhere can compare to how green England was. And I do miss those obnoxiously loud sheep in some small way, though I prefer Indiana's squirrels and rabbits.

7. Other Nationalities. I love my family here so much, but I do miss my Capernwray Family Group and Interactive Group. It's sad not to sit at a table and hear people speaking in German or Korean, and I miss talking about Australia and Philippines and Japan and Argentina and New Zealand or comparing Nursery Rhymes in Germany, Ireland, the USA and Canada.

8. Pre-Planned Outfits. Getting dressed at Capernwray was easy. Maroon Monday, Stripes on Tuesday, on Wednesday we wear Pink, Theme Thursday, Freaky Friday, Saturday was usually free and Sunday was dress day.

9. Nail Painting on Tuesdays. I loved my group of Capernwray friends so much, and Tuesday was always a highlight of my week when we got together and painted nails and usually laughed way too much. I did get a little bit better at painting someone else's nails, but I'm still pretty bad...

Obviously there are way more things I miss about Capernwray and a lot of things that I'm still readjusting to. Yes, I still have no idea what side of the road I'm supposed to walk on. "Wait, why is the car driving that direction on that side?" And it always throws me off in restaurants when I read chips and french fries. It takes a while to remember which is which. Oh, and I definitely miss parties in the Beehive whenever we had something to celebrate or something accomplished or something sad or something upsetting. And I miss my extra meals, coffee break and supper. And I don't know what meals are supposed to be called. Right... tea time isn't actually a thing over here.

But, as I've said a thousand times before, it's all part of the adventure. I'm learning and figuring it out, and storing up stories and experiences for all those novels that will come along someday. Thank you Capernwray, for all the things you gave me to miss. 

Countries and Castles

I spent the last five days in Sweden, with a little bit of Denmark thrown in, and it has been incredible. I am so blessed to have been able to come on this trip and see a little bit more of the world. I can't believe the stories I have to tell and the little bits of knowledge that I've picked up from each country.

Now my trip is coming to an end, and while a part of me will miss Europe and all the adventure, I'm ready to move on, back over the ocean, to see what God has planned out for me next. I'll have a couple of months with my grandparents, and I'm excited to see them again after a year apart.

But enough on leaving. I'll write out a highlight of Sweden and one for Denmark.

Sweden: Nimis!

This place was incredible. Read About It Here! So basically, just in case you're too lazy to read the entire Wikipedia article, an artist built these structures out of driftwood in the middle of a national reserve. There has been a lot of legal debate, and somewhere in the process the artist declared this place to be a micro-nation. Anyway, it was such a strange and fascinating story, and such a cool place to see. It was like a giant playground for everyone, and I had so much fun climbing up the towers and trying to avoid getting scratched by the nails sticking out all over or getting splinters.

Denmark: Hamlet's Castle!

I did try to read Hamlet before going, but only managed to read the first two acts and a summary before we went. Still, I know enough about Shakespeare and Hamlet that it was so cool to see the castle the play was based off of, and to hear about the actual kings who lived there. Plus, it's a castle, and castle's are basically always awesome. I especially liked the ballroom, which was huge, and the underground rooms where the soldiers lived, even if it was freezing down there. But yeah, such a beautiful building with so much history and a fantastic view from the castle windows.

Basically, this last adventure has been great, and I do recommend Sweden to anyone looking to travel. Just make sure that if you're ever in Sweden or Denmark or anywhere nearby that you stop to look at Nimis! 

Following My Heroes

The problem with running off following adventure is that finding time to write about the adventure is practically impossible. But seeing as for the moment I don't need to Skype anyone and I kind of partly have the next stretch of travel from Oxford to Sweden planned out, it seems a good time for a blog post.

First of all, can I just point out that I'm in Oxford? Yeah, yeah, like the University, but mostly like the place where Lewis and Tolkien lived and taught and walked... Amazing. 

So many little carvings all over the walls and ceilings of all the buildings!

This city is incredible, with architecture that takes my breath away and so many complex and intricate buildings. Me and my traveling companion have kind of accidentally run into several places used in the filming of Harry Potter, which is definitely exciting. I cannot wait to get back and watch all the movies again, just so I can point and say: "I've been there!" Nacho Libre's not the only movie set I can say I've been to anymore.
Anyway, back to the point: this city is so beautiful! There is so much history carved into the buildings and I can just feel all of it in the air as I walk through the streets. Plus, it's time for examinations, so the Oxford students from several colleges are walking or riding their bicycles through the city wearing black gowns with carnations in their pockets and their sharp, erudite black and white uniforms. I can only imagine what it would be like to actually study in a place like this.

Christ Church. No wonder movies are filmed here.

So far I've been to Keble College, Christ Church, and a bit of the New College, and each college is breath-taking. I'm hoping to get in a few more colleges before we leave on Friday. We even attended the Sung Evensong at Christ Church Cathedral on Tuesday, which wasn't quite as impressive as the service at Westminster Abbey, but still pretty cool. Plus, we've done a lot of walking around, taking photos, shopping, trying to find the cheapest ways to eat, sliding through museums, and a little bit of getting purposely lost in order to see more. It's wonderful.

Radcliffe Camera, apparently one of the most photographed buildings in Oxford. I can understand why, plus the fact that it sneaks into the backgrounds of pictures of other buildings nearby...

And, did I mention? This is where Lewis and Tolkien formed the Inklings and met in pubs to discuss their writing. I dropped into the Eagle and Child pub and took pictures and stood and marveled, but the food was too expensive for me to justify eating there. However, across the street the Lamb and the Flag was also used by the Inklings, and I managed to afford a nice ham sandwich. Then I just sat in the pub and wrote out four pages of my thoughts as my mind wrapped around the fact that I was sitting in the very place that Lewis and Tolkien read their stories. So incredibly unbelievable. I just cannot hold in how excited I am to be in the place where my heroes actually lived.

Eagle and Child. I am still amazed.

Tomorrow I'm planning on finding the Kilns, where Lewis lived, and then Holy Trinity Church to see his grave. I'm so excited to follow him even more and see how many of his words will drip down and influence my own writing and my own stories. I can just feel the creativity in this place (did I mention Lewis Carrol was also an Oxford don? Lots of Alice in Wonderland exhibits in all the museums) and I am quite sure my writing can only improve as I result of being here.

This was inside the Eagle and Child, so of course when we got back at night we watched the first half of the Lord of the Rings and went crazy when this part actually came up.

Bonus: today I had the most interesting conversations back at the house where we're staying. It began as a sort of conversation against the Bible, though without any time for me to answer the questions being asked, or at least not enough time to answer them well. Then it became a conversation about my family, and about camps, and then the ice cream truck drove by and I smiled at the music and was treated to an amazing Cadbury ice cream cone.
Later in the day a French man living in Germany arrived to stay in another room here, and we all talked for hours about language and education and politics and immigration and travel and culture and even culture shock. Such a great conversation and it kind of made me realize that I am in fact an adult now and can not only listen in on but be a major part of a conversation like that. I mean, usually as soon as it's a serious conversation all I can do is listen, but this time I actually had just as much to add to the conversation as anyone else. More memories and information to store in my "future novels" room in my Mind Palace.

And to end, a lovely picture of me and Smaug.

How to be Courageous

Goodbyes suck. There you have it, the truth of the matter. And I have had to say more goodbyes in my life than should be possible.
I remember when I was little I had this one friend I would have sleepovers with all the time, and when my mom came to pick us up we would run and hide so that we wouldn't have to say goodbye. I'm sure that our mothers didn't much appreciate that.

Hiding out in some awesome ruins near Capernwray. I believe it was the old game keeper's house for Capernwray Hall.

Unfortunately, most goodbyes I can't hide from. I left Capernwray Bible School yesterday morning, but only after a full night of watching the people I've come to love so much drifting away one by one. I have to admit that my emotions kind of shut down during the goodbyes. I just knew that I couldn't handle any tears. It felt like if I let myself cry even a single drop I would just keep crying forever. I mean, I already said goodbyes three months ago to Oaxaca, Mexico and all my amazing friends there, and then two weeks later I had to say goodbye to my sister again.

Goodbye Capernwray Hall. You'll have a piece of my heart forever.

However, I believe that one form of courage is the courage to life every moment to the fullest, and I decided to try my best to be courageous. After all, so many of my goodbyes are not permanent. How many times have I said goodbye to someone thinking I would never see them again, but years later I find myself saying hello to them again? Lots.

Besides, we live in a world that is all connected, where I can open Facebook and see statuses posted from Korea, Ecuador, Uganda, Kenya, Asia, all over the USA and Mexico, just to name a few. I have relatively easy access to Skype and Emails and it is still possible to send hand-written letters, which are so amazing to receive. (Thanks my favorite sister, the only person who got on the ball and sent me mail while I was here in England. And she sent two letters.)

I'll miss tea when I leave England. Somehow drinking tea won't be the same if it's not scheduled into the day. I had at least three cups of tea or coffee ever day while at Capernwray, I think I'm going to go through tea withdrawal now that I'm travelling. Oh wait, the hotel has tea... I'll survive another three days at least.

So in the words of my sometimes extremely poetic boyfriend: "I prefer to think of it as more of a goodnight, going somewhere else, to have some more epic adventures, but waking up to find that person still there. And if we're lucky, we might just find them in our goodnights along with our goodmornings." 
I've had to say goodnight to Capernwray, but I can't wait to see when and where I find myself meeting up with the people I got so close to here in England to share some goodmornings. All I can say is that sometime there must be a tour of Canada, because Capernwray was overflowing with Canadians, and also that I am praying like crazy that God will someday bring me back to Europe somehow. 

Getting my certificate of completion for finishing the course. :)

For now I am going to take the advice of one of my amazing Capernwray friends in a letter she wrote me with instructions not to read it until I had left Capernwray. So I read it in a hotel near London and was so touched by her sweet words. She said that she admired the way I life day by day and life every moment fully, so today I'm going to push all the past and future stuff away and enjoy today. I will do my best to forget about travel stress and forget about goodbyes and forget about missing home and forget about college and forget about getting a job and I am going to enjoy London! 

I think our main plan for the day is to relax in Hyde Park and read and write, which sounds so amazing. I am so excited for round two of London, since honestly my day in London before going to school didn't leave that great of an impression. But it was Good Friday and the city was packed, and all we did was see the major tourist stuff that seen from a distance really doesn't look any different than it would seen from a photograph. But now I get to see London again with an awesome group of people and less of a schedule and with more time. So London... here I come.

After our 6.5 hour coach ride from Capernwray to London I ate sandwiches with two of my closest friends on the sidewalk because we couldn't find a nice place to sit, and then I had to say goodbye to one of my best friends for what felt like the hundredth time. I hope it's not too long before we meet up again in the next country.

Washing Machine Life

Everything is changing.
My oh my how that little sentence has been true over the last couple of weeks. I've watched, from England, as all of my classmates graduate and get ready to go all over the world. It's so strange to think that all of those people will no longer be in the same place, that even if I went 'back' I could never go back. Everything is changed now.

So after a few days of panic over the fact that my friends have all graduated and moved or will move soon and then panic over the fact that I'm not going home after this and won't ever live at home again and then panic of "why in the world am I going to college in a state where I don't know anyone?" Honestly, though, what prompted me to go so far away?

I still can't believe this is where I've been going to school!

Then again, I am in England right now, and it's even further away than Vermont will be. And while one of my friends followed me here from Oaxaca, I did still come here alone. So I don't know why college seems so much more daunting.

Yeah, I guess the pictures don't really have anything to do with my post, but open doorway, you know, like a door to my future...

But that's the big abstract change that sometimes seems unconnected from my life, like I'm watching it happen to someone else. Right now the change is the end of Bible School coming up in just one week. I know I've done a terrible job at updating everyone, but these two months really have been incredible. It will be hard to leave, but I am so excited to see how I can take everything that has been poured into me during my time here and then turn it into the rest of my life.

And road to the future...

I'm trying to think of some highlights from the time here. Elephant Table Tennis was definitely fun, when a group of us played the most ridiculous table tennis ever and could not stop laughing. Parties in the Beehive are also fantastic, eating chocolate and gummy bears when we're upset about something or when we have some reason to celebrate. Reading my novel out loud to one of my friends here has also definitely been a highlight.

So many sheep here!

Of course I've also loved all of the lectures and spending time alone with the creator of all of this fantastic greenery and watching the British sunset fall over the hills. I am amazed at what God has done during this time, and I pray that as I move through a world that's spinning around and changing way too quickly for me, that I will be able to continue to grow and learn and store all of these stories for my future novels.

I went to the Pencil Museum in Keswick. How random is that? I didn't know pencils came from Keswick England.

I just need to focus on the adventure and forget the fear.

There is beauty everywhere as long as I remember to look for it.

Capernwray At Last

I have to admit that Capernwray has been a tiny bit overwhelming. I mean, there are so many people and everything is just so incredible. I've been here about three days now, I think, and I don't think I'll ever get used to this. Of course I don't want to, either. I love walking out of my room and having my breath stolen by the green and the rabbits and the lambs and the birds.

The lectures are, well, lectures, but I love being able to study again. I was surprised by my own nerdiness because taking notes again made me so incredibly happy. I just love writing so much, and even if I'm just writing down information about Deuteronomy and Interactive Groups I still love putting words down onto the page.

So I feel like I should explain the Bible school or tell a story or something. I guess I'm a bit distracted tonight though. I've gotten online most days for a few minutes to get little bits of Oaxaca, but I haven't done too well and it's hard to connect my thoughts in a crowded room with a lot of other people all skyping and writing and trying to keep up with everyone.

Basically I'm making a lot of friends and learning a lot and it's all been great, just a lot to take in. But I'm loving it so far, even if it's weird just constantly meeting new people and trying to figure out how to make good friends and not just a ton of acquaintances.

But my roommates are awesome and I love talking to them and hanging out with them. It's such a fun room and I have a feeling these next two months will be great. I just need to remember to read all of the Bible chapters I'm supposed to and keep up with my poetry (which I have done a great job keeping up with, by the way).

Ah, I really just cannot think properly to write, but at least here's an update of some sort. Eventually I'll get back to it and write a better story or something, I promise!!

Dublin Snow

I flew "home" from Dublin today, and laughed at how quickly this castle has become my home. Or maybe I just adapt quickly anywhere, since the little hostel we stayed at in Dublin became 'home' too while we were there.

Anyway, while I have thousands of words that I could pour forth on this page about England and Capernwray, I did just come back from Ireland, and I think I'll write out my Dublin adventures and hopefully get back to England soon. I do apologize for this frightening lack of updates, but I want to enjoy England while I can, and the rare times when internet is available is usually taken up by Skype calls.

You are probably wondering why the title of my Dublin trip in May has anything to do with snow. While my sister informed me that it was snowing several days in Colorado, it did not in fact snow in Dublin.

But as my Capernwray roommate and I were walking along  the Dublin streets we saw a little red-head boy with his thick Irish accent crumbling a block of Styrofoam over his sister's head. Skipping and clapping as she walked, she reached up and laughed, "It's Snowing!"
I know I am often that girl, laughing at the scene created in my imagination even if it isn't the real thing. I don't know how often I've dreamed myself into another place, another country, another world. There were so many moments during my two days in Dublin when I had to stop and take a second to realize that I wasn't just playing with Styrofoam. I went to Ireland! I saw all the tourist sights of Dublin, from the famine memorial to the spire to Dublin Writer's Museum, and it was all real.

(Sidenote: Apparently Ireland is the place to be if you want to write. I had no idea so many writers were from Ireland! Maybe some of the leprechaun dust will rub off on me?)

Favorite part? Well, the Writer's Museum was pretty cool, and the old library was definitely awesome as well, complete with the book of Kells and that amazing smell that instantly inspires me to write. The Little Dublin Museum was also fascinating, and I loved eating mint chocolate chip ice-cream beside the River Liffy and sitting on the side of the walking street listening to the musicians play, and even sleeping in the airport our last night really wasn't bad.

So basically, Dublin was like walking through stories I wouldn't have imagined seeing in real life. It was like realizing that my made up snow was actually wet and cold. But at the same time it didn't stay wet and cold, everything exceeded my expectations. So my Dublin snow was more like the fountain being cleaned, with foamy bubbles that kept growing and growing until they starting flying off to the sky in giant bursts of snow cloud.

Dublin was fantastic, and coming back to Capernwray to a long shower, a clean bed, and free food was definitely a welcome return. I know I've said it a thousand times before, but I really am in the land of stories, and I can't stop realizing how incredibly blessed I am.