Jenga Blocks and This Life Thing

The passage of time is an interesting thing. I still don't understand how five days can feel like an innumerable amount of years. I was in Burlington, Vermont less than a week ago dying to get out of college. Now I'm trying to readjust to life in a house where I have to wash dishes and cook meals, but at least I don't have to leave the house to eat.

I still have nothing on jobs, just more applications and interviews and trying to plaster a smile on my face that says "hire me" but when asked why I want the job I freeze because I do not know. I want the job because my mom wants me to have one. I want the job because I can't afford college without one. Or even with one for that matter. I want the job because I would get bored sitting in my sister's house all day, and it would make me fat and lazy with no work ethic. I want the job because it's a job and it will give me life experience I will maybe one day write into a book. I want the job because I'm so sick of wondering what job I'm going to have.

But the last two days were so much more relaxing anyway, and today I even got to walk to the library with my sister in sunshine. I am amazed by my own self's desire for sunshine, and I don't know how I let myself end up living in Vermont. But the walk was nice, with flowers along the way and an almost not cold wind. We got to spend plenty of time in the library finding books for summer reading (I checked out Wizard of Earthsea) and then walk back books in arm while she pointed out this little town's landmarks. (Her husband's office, her church, the new courthouse, Main Street.)

We also spent a large chunk of the day playing Jenga, which I mostly lost. I find it strange how often I wish for things to stay together. Brokenness, destruction and pain, like the news of a good friend laying in the hospital in a coma after he overdosed, terrifies me. And yet here is this game which inevitably ends in destruction and chaos and brokenness. The loud crash of blocks hitting the table and spilling onto the floor makes me jump, but it makes me laugh and want to play again. Maybe it's a reminder that the end of something doesn't have to be a bad thing, or maybe it's the hopefulness of it that I love. No matter how many times the tower falls you can always set it back up and start over.

I'm afraid I've rambled too much. I shouldn't write posts in the middle of the night when I should be asleep. But I'm too full of words tonight and even though I got to talk to my best friend back home and chat with my boyfriend and talk to my sister is n person, I still think better in written words sometimes.

I don't know what my point is. I'm just trying to figure out how this life thing works. How do I fit a thousand years into one day? How do I fit one day into a thousand years? Thank goodness the One I've trusted my life to isn't constrained by this awful time thing. 

Head-First Into a New Adventure

Book two now has fifteen pages written, and I am so excited to finally be back with my precious characters. Sure, four years have gone by since the first book, Shadow Whispers, and the Whisperers have certainly changed a lot. I mean, I'm not sure if Mortiod is going to make it; Briaka will have a lot of work cut out for her trying to cheer him up.

However, Shadow Remnants is up and running, and you have no idea how happy it makes me to have that book started and know that I'm back to writing.

I won't lie, there is a lot I still need to fix up in the first book. I do need to get that fifth draft written, but in the meantime it's nice to work on something at least.

Plus, I've been on a couple of dates since my last post here, and it's so nice to just talk to someone for hours while playing a super nerdy board game and taking up two tables at a coffee shop because the game took up so much space. It had been a while since I'd smiled that much.

I also am finally done applying to colleges. That's a lie. I still have one that I need to finish. But... well, I'm a lot closer.

And I cleaned my room today!

Ignore the random milk carton in the corner. There's a story behind that. And yes, this picture is actually mine!

And I graduated from high school! It was an interesting ceremony, since I happened to be the only graduate, but I had so much fun. I survived the walk down the aisle without tripping, got through my speech without problems, and got my diploma. Unfortunately I still have to go to school next week to finish up my finals. But... I'm graduated!

Isn't it so exciting? I'm holding my diploma of graduation. Wow. I'm graduated!

So, there you have it, the crazy events and the most exciting fact that I am back to writing Book Two. Wish me luck and speedy writing.

Oh, plus I got to watch the Hobbit! Such a good movie, I love the Lord of The Rings!! <3

Yeah, he's my favorite, for sure!

Senior Pictures

So I spent all morning running around taking pictures.

Because I am going to graduate in a couple of months.

Wow.

I will be done with high school.

Graduated.

Can you believe it?

I can't.

I'm sorry. I'm just having a little bit of a mental breakdown at the moment. It's just so freaky. I can't possibly be old enough to be a senior in high school. An almost done senior in high school for that matter. I'm graduating. Soon.

But anyway, I took a bunch of senior pictures and it was a lot of fun. So, because I am such a wonderfully nice person, I'll put up at least one of the pictures we took today, so you guys can see my lovely face.

Ah. Wow, still can't get over the fact that I already started the last quarter of high school. Ever.

I should probably get my act together with this whole looking for colleges thing.

And I should also register for the SAT so I can score better than I did last time I took it. Hm.

Anyway, I realize this wasn't the most exciting post, but now you get to know a bit about my breakthrough.

And yeah, picture:

I probably won't use this one, but I just look so epic taking my typewriter out of its case to show the world. Like, just looking at this picture makes me want to go write an amazing story or poem or something. Oh, and if you're curious about what the typewriter actually looks like, it's now the background of the blog. So you are probably looking at it right at this moment. Isn't it awesome? I bet you're jealous.

Preparing a Plot

Believe it or not, by plot, I'm not talking about my novel. For once, this post is not about the Whisperers, whom I have very cruelly ignored over the last few days. Instead, this post is about me.

See, the thing is, I'm a senior in high school.  (I've told you this already.) Therefore, I'm at that stage where suddenly planning is important.

When I write a novel, I never plan out the entire thing in advance. I make a few bullet points with the important events, and then the characters get to decide what happens as I write. All that really matters is having a few big events to carry the plotline.

Well, I'm at that stage of life where I need to figure out the bullet points of this up and coming book. What college should I go to? Where do I want to live? What do I want to study? It's a mess, honestly, and while I started out the summer ridiculously excited and prepared, I'm beginning to feel a little bit overwhelmed.

So, I've narrowed down my choices to a top seven or eight, and almost all of them are part of the common application, which sure makes things easier. Of course, I have an essay that I started four times and have yet to finish satisfactorily. And that's only the basic essay- each college asks for separate ones as well.

Yep. This is pretty much how I feel.

However, I ought to return to the more positive side of life.

My dream, since forever (or at least, since I watched the Chronicles of Narnia and learned about C. S. Lewis and then read Goodnight, Mr. Tom and Coming on Home, and some other England based books whose titles I cannot currently remember) has been to go to England.

Fun Fact: When I was in fifth grade (I think) I read the Chronicles of Narnia. And, since the books I read each only showed a selection of the map, I went through and drew my own complete map of Narnia using the pieces shown in each book. I am still somewhat of a Narnia fanatic and always check wardrobes and put on green or yellow rings and often stare longingly into pictures of ships. As of yet, Aslan has not opened the doors into his magical world. But he will; I'm sure of it.

After a while, I settled on the idea of attending Capernwray Bible School, part of the Torchbearers program. My parents told (I think as a joke) that if I wanted them to help pay the cost I would need to graduate a semester early so the tuition money that would otherwise go to high school could be used to pay for England. Of course, I promptly agreed and rearranged and doubled up on classes so that I could graduate in December 2013 instead of June 2014.

The arrangements all worked out, and I will be graduating at the end of this semester.

And, I got my acceptance letter to Capernwray.

It's official. Not only will I be done a whole semester early, but when I finish I'll be moving to England for three months. I can't explain how excited I am.

So, while I am certainly overwhelmed, I'm also impatient and excited and nervous and ecstatic, and yeah. You get the point. There's a lot going on in my head.

But slowly, step by step, the outline of the plot of this next story is coming together. And soon enough I'll be off on the adventure instead of planning the details.