March 29, 2014

Endings or Beginnings

I know that I should be thinking positively. You know, the end of one thing is just the beginning of something new? But right now I feel like there are just a lot of endings and it's hard to think about the beginning that will follow.

Book Two is getting closer to the end, and while it doesn't seem like a big deal it's hard to realize that I'm actually pretty close to getting to the end of the second book. Plus, this ending has been pretty hard to write, because I've had to force some of my characters to make hard decisions and suffer more than they'd like, and it's only going to get worse up until the end. Don't worry, though, I'm pretty sure there will still be a happy ending.

My life in Oaxaca is probably the biggest end coming up. It's really hard to accept that I only have about a month left here. Then I'll be moving out to Bible School in England and then college who knows where and, well, all the rest of life. I'm terrified of saying goodbye to this place where I've spent the last four years. It's become something of a home to me, as close as I can get here on earth.

And as much as I hate to admit it I know this will be the end of some friendships as well. Of course there are those best friends I can't imagine ever losing and I'll fight to keep those friendships no matter what. But I know there are also people that will drift away, because that's what happens when you move to another state, let alone continent.

Oh, and the end of this amazing freedom that I've had the last couple months. It's been fantastic to not be at school and just be able to spend all day writing if I want to. I admit I haven't spent all day writing, but I have spent way more time than I got to while in school. I've loved the change to just be lazy and make up for all the hard work I put into high school and just rest for a change.

I also feel like even while I know that my heart will always be a child, I'm kind of saying goodbye to childhood, too. I'm 18 now, an adult. I'm going to be off on my own, independent, looking for my own job and providing for myself. I'll miss just being a little kid.

But I guess I ought to stop ranting now. It's just, I've never really liked endings.

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