July 5, 2015

Poetry in Love

I'm going to start with a poem. 

What if all we have ever wanted
Isn't hiding in some
secret and faraway dream
but inside of us now
as we breathe one another
and find home in the way
our arms always seem to fit
perfectly around the spaces
between us?
What if we are the answer
and love was the question? 
What if all this time
it was us you were supposed
to find? 
I am filled with wondering a 
questions and doubt
but of one thing I am certain:
it will always be you
that gives flight to the
butterflies inside me,
calm to the sea I have become
and hope to the darkness 
all around us. 
It is you and it has always
been you...
You that soothes and excites
and spreads joy like rainfall
on the already damp earth;
You that pulled me from the longest 
sleep and kissed my tired eyelids
If life is a question mark,
then you, my love, 
are the proud and bold period
that is typed with certainty. 

I got this book of poetry, Chasers of the Light, which probably I have already told you about, by Tyler Knott Gregson, and I cannot tell you how much I love to have my breath taken away by poetry again. Now I'm seeing poems in everything, the deer under the teepee in front of me, the blue blue sky, the sound of children's laughter. Luckily I bought a new notebook to go along with my urge to write poetry like oxygen. I feel as though Friday and Saturday this week lit me on fire with joy, and even in the small moments of darkness I am filled with hope. 

That isn't to say that my heart isn't still full of longing. Three weeks until I get to see my parents again. Five weeks until I get to see my boyfriend. I wish I could see my best friend in Mexico who I didn't even get to call on her birthday because of working here at camp. I wish the world wasn't all so big and so fascinating. I miss Mexico and I miss the countries I've never seen. 

But this next week is week five and I want to be content. Last week I survived an incomprehensible amount of drama among both campers and staff, and I tested out the limits of my patience in a lot of different ways. Not to mention I went to sleep an hour later than usual every night this week. But I also got to see some of the legacy of this camp. We advertised at a booth at some little Fourth of July fair and so many people came up to tell us what an impact this camp had made in their lives. Even the name of this camp, I'd-Ra-Ha-Je begs a question and answers it with a message of all this camp stands for. It's cool to see that what I'm doing here is helping to grow a camp that touches thousands of lives every summer. It's so cool to know that these kids are being taught that love is the answer- the ultimate hero. Love changes everything and while I realize that this poem was written for human love it also fits the love of God. He calms the storm that I've become, and he is the answer to the question mark of life. 

You can't get better than that, and as week five sweeps me off my feet and throws me in the dirt I want to laugh and smile and rely on love. It's all I can do sometimes. 

Also, speaking of love. My sister got a new puppy. The most adorable thing ever. I am in love. 

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